I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
