So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
