I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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