Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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