the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
