I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
