Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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