oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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