I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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