But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
either way he was missing a nipple.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
