She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
