Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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