Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
