let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
