One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
