did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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