this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
