There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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