he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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