is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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