So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
