Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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