We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Couch. On fire.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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