some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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