i just had sex bonerless
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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