I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
