i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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