somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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