is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
