sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
party gras won. party gras always wins.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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