You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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