I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize