You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
