remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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