His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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