Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
