why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I had to cum in my sink.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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