was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
