I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
