The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
