even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
