You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize