sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
