the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
