Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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