Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
