I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
