Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
