So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
