Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
