Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
