My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
