My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
