I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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