Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
