I am puke
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
