i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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