Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
