belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
