The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
