I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
