I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
