Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
