matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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