We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize