I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
