She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize