i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
