super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
