I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
