I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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