just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I could fuck to npr.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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