I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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