peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
