so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
