I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
