she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
