Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
